One of those mom-isms goes, "If you won't listen, then you'll have to feel." Now even if you've never heard that gem before, you have a good idea what it means. If you don't obey then there will be consequences; unpleasant consequences. Most people my age and older know all about those consequences. It was a common practice. In fact, it was a traditional practice going all the way back into the mists of antiquity for nearly every single culture on earth. If you were naughty, you were punished. Throughout history the same applied to adults as well. The annals of nations are full of accounts of crime and punishment. Consequences followed acts. Not every consequence was rehabilitative. Sometimes you just had it coming because justice demanded it.
As to parenting, somehow in the past few decades somebody had a meeting somewhere (I missed it) and decided that corporal punishment was a bad thing. A lot of people decided that we could do with less of it and we could discipline in other ways. I don't think that's a bad idea - the punishment should fit the crime. Problem is - parents don't seem to be that creative. The traditional way was automatic. No thought involved, no creativity required. The new way involved effort and thought - it was kind of hard. So instead of putting forth greater effort, many just kind of did nothing. There was nothing to fill the void of the former way. The parents weren't disciplined enough to discipline. The problem is self-perpetuating as now we have generations growing up with no idea of what it means to be accountable for your own actions, and are teaching their children the same. We have children who know no shame for misbehavior, feel no guilt over their sins, and take no responsibility for actions. They want rights without responsibilities and feel indignant if anyone tries to hold them accountable for their actions. The Apostle Paul warned that "in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy" (2 Timothy 3:1-2). Societies which permit anything will eventually lose everything.
Justice is the idea that there is a right thing to do, an immutable law. Obedience to that law brings reward and blessing, disobedience brings consequence and punishment (2 Ne. 2:10). Justice teaches accountability. It applies to all, rich and poor, young and old. Justice is void if it is haphazardly applied. One parent commented to me that she didn't believe in punishment, it was too harsh. She believed in rewards and "positive parenting." I listened to her as she proudly proclaimed that she was raising a kind and loving child, uninhibited by hang-ups and guilt. She was taking the pleasant and throwing out the unpleasant. In effect, she wasn't teaching justice at all, for in taking the half she had destroyed the cohesion of the whole. I could only think of Paul's words and feel sorry for her child as she unwittingly set her daughter up for a lifetime of unfulfilled disillusion.
God believes in rewards, too. He pleads with us to do right so He can bless us more fully and in addition to the grace that rains down on us daily. Likewise, He also believes in punishment. He pleads with us to be wise and righteous, especially though Jesus, so we can avoid the sentences of punishment. He talks of punishment throughout all of scripture. If there is no punishment then there is no God (2 Ne. 2:13). As every law has a punishment affixed there is also a "repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God. But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement (Alma 42:22-23). The danger of consequence-less Mercy is unknowable unless the weight of justice is understood. Many parents believe that they are being merciful when they let their children "off the hook." In reality, this is not mercy but license. License is as far away from God's justice as one can get. It is reflective of the serpent whispering to Eve, "Thou surely shalt not die." It says "you can get away with this." Don't worry nothing will happen to you.
God's justice demands that the penalty be inflicted for the disobedience. Now I believe that God will inflict the least degree of punishment that He can upon us for our sins. But the truth is, He is a great and mighty God and disobedience to His Law is a great and terrible sin. It cannot be taken lightly nor allowed by His righteousness with any degree of allowance. Therefore, Christ suffered the terrible wrath of God as He wrought the atonement in payment for our disobedience.
A Just God demands parents teach their children right from wrong, to be accountable for their own sins, and to learn to appreciate the demands of justice. Otherwise, they can never truly be penitent, never understand the depths of mercy, nor ever appreciate the atonement of Christ. Parents who do not teach justice, cannot teach mercy. They may teach license. But God does not participate in license. His Just nature disallows it. And His nature will not be mocked.
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